lost

there are some things i can't live without. there are some things i can't imagine waking up and not being a part of my life. and, occasionally, something sneaks onto that list without me even knowing how dependent  i have become. like diet coke.

sometimes, i fight the relationship at first. sometimes, i refuse to believe how needy i am. but then, when i let my guard down, i realize that the opportunities are immense, the possibilities endless. and, suddenly, the love affair begins.

at first, it was just a picture or a phone call but then it was directions no matter where i was or the ability to make a list when my 5 year old had ganked every pen within a 5 mile radius. and, even when i didn't handle it with care, even when the impact forced little spider like veins to scatter across its body, it continued because it knew i needed it. it knew i couldn't make contact with the outside world unless it was in my possession. but, everything has a breaking point . . .

and, a concrete floor was its demise. now, it just glows.

and, i can't do anything. i can't call or be called. i can't text or be texted. i can't make a list or find out where i am or check the weather in los angeles (which i needed because i was in los angeles!) or take a picture when my baby fell asleep on the floor the other day or check email or entertain children with various games or function. somehow, slowly, over the last two years, my entire brain was transferred into various iphone apps. and now, it is gone. all gone.

goodbye, friend. i will miss you.
well, at least until the bigger, better version of you enters my life.