how many is too many??

Friday, May 8

that is the question. i have always felt it was a personal decision. 

we are currently vacationing with our vacay buddies, the tillmans. at the end of last year, we both gave birth to another baby, our third and their second. our biggest concern in traveling was entertaining the infants. would they cry, be too loud, need to nurse all the time? but no worries, people rarely even notice we have infants. they are too busy gawking at how many of us there are.

when eating at restaurants, we have heard the following:

"put them in the back." (whispered to the hostess seating us)

photo hijacked from jennifer's blog

"do you mind eating inside? if not, i have a great place for you."

in case you were wondering, that is the bathroom door behind us. we were the only table upstairs that wasn't on the balcony. we spent the entire evening telling people they had to push harder to get the door open. seriously.

while hovering for the only large table at panera, we mommies and toddlers apparently sparked a new topic for the older ladies occupying only half of it. i overheard one say to the others while eying our children, "i mean, i want my grandchildren to come visit, but i don't want to raise them."

we aren't asking you to raise these cuties, we're asking you to get up so they will have a place to eat
another photo i hijacked from jennifer's blog

while entering banana republic, one of the people waiting for us to come through the door, "wow, did you see that party of 12?" no, lady, just 9.

while shopping at j.crew, i overheard two twentysomethings say, "this place is full of babies and strollers." nope, just two, us and them.

i always joke that my 3 kids can feel like 15 or 492, but apparently i am not the only one who feels that way . apparently, the world feels that i have reached my reproductive limit.

am i permitted to have 8 or 18 children only as long as i allow the public to ogle us like side show circus freaks?

oh, so tacky, and yet so funny

i have always loved the idea of having a big family, not in the octomom or duggar kind of way, but in the normal kind of way. i have actually read several editorials recently where people said they thought having more children was irresponsible in our current economic crisis and ecological distress. are you freaking kidding me? 

ugh. back off. and be nice. i know it is shocking but not everyone puts the priorities of the earth above the people that reside on it. not everyone sneers at the contagious laughter of children because it is too loud. not everyone's heart is two sizes too small . . .


Molly said...

Geesh, people....I will NEVER understand some people. Hey! They were probably amazed at such a group of good looking parents with such an adorable group of children!!!

Have you shopped at Easy Way with all the kids yet. Boy, that was always a fun place to shop with my 3. We call it Geezy Way for all the old cranky geezers!


gtown1 said...

Well it sounds like you may just have to pack up and move to Branson, MO and live near the Kankauk folks that we worked with. They believe in big families...seems like if you don't have at least 4 then you are a minority and some have that many and are adopting now!

This is the camp Forrest & I met at. And if we can afford it we'll be sending Walker or go to their new family camp. Ya'll should check it out. I'm if you go you'll fit right in and be welcomed with all your beautiful kids :) After all that's what it's all about!

Be encouraged.

Kodi said...

Don't ever let people like that get you down. Children are a wonderful blessing ( I know you know that ) and three is DEFINITELY not the limit. My hubby is one of four boys and I think four works out great. Now, it is a little crowded at restaurants when all of their spouses/girlfriends show up too, but I say, let people stare, I LOVE that I married into this big family. As far as the economy, if you can afford another baby, that's your place to decide. The same person who said that probably lives in Hollywood where they spend $1500 on a stroller etc.

Vicki G. said...

We used to go to the beach every year with 3 couples and what ended up being 10 kids. We kept it up for over 10 years! Quite a group when we did anything together! It's been at least 12 years since the last time (our kids are now almost all adults!) Still some of the best memories! I was remembering those times while reading your blog! I'm sure people said somethings about us! But we had the best time! You will, too!

jennifer said...


I loved reading your take on this.

Allyson said...

I just found your blog...I'm a Memphis gal too! We've been to the beach and met up with friends several for dinner several times. It once bothered me that we got stares and the back tables, but no more. Now there are 6 adults and 11 (soon to be 12) kids between us. We have a blast, the kids have a blast and we don't worry about it anymore.

Have fun at the beach and enjoy this time together, it's so special!


tpillstrom said...

I just randomly came across your blog and I totally know where you're coming from! I have a group of friends (5 adults, 13 kids) Recently, the Pizza Hut in Hernando told us we would have to pay a $20 room fee to eat there b/c we were a "party." They proceeded to tell us "the business crowd" didn't like to be around kids because they were a nuisance. Can you believe that? It was even Good one even works on that day!
So, Good for you and your friend! Have as many babies as you want! Kids deserve good moms like yourself!


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